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All week, Beauty School faculty have been able to talk about nothing else but the Miss USA 2011 pageant. Madge, the cafeteria lady, has even gone so far as to serve California rolls and salt-water taffy from the Jersey shore to both faculty and students today! Here are comments and musings about the 60th annual, diamond-anniversary pageant from some of our faculty and staff:

Dean Harris: "MUO finally got their history right! Historically, they usually f**k up their very own history, incorrectly identifying titleholders' names or the years they won. Also, it was wonderful to see so many former titleholders together and to see the tribute to the USO. And it really was a Northeast Corridor night - Alyssa is a Jersey girl at heart!"

Lorraine, Beauty School Librarian: "Where does Alyssa get her hair dyed? Goodness knows I have been looking and looking for that shade of red!"

Prof. Chandni - comment 1:
"Please report to summer school, Miss Tennessee USA and Miss Alabama USA. You are as dumb as rocks. Please be advised that summer school is aboard the HMS Beagle, where you will devote your entire course of study to the scientific subject, repeat - scientific subject - of evolution. The course will include field work in the Galapagos."

Prof. Chandni - comment 2:
As for you, Andy Cohen, you may be awfully damn cute, but you are to report to remedial Spanish class immediately. ¡Apur├íte vos! Personally, I find it terribly embarrassing when Angela Visser can speak like at least 10 languages fluently and you can't even pronounce Ximena's name correctly! ¡Ay, que verguezna! I can only imagine what destruction you would do to such words as Tlatelolco or tortilla or Xochimilco! But don't worry, our remedial Spanish language teacher, who happens to be Angela Visser, will change all of that!"

Boris, Beauty School Security Officer/Bodyguard: "I would definitely do...um, I mean date Alyssa!"

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